Holy. Shiznit. You’re 26. That’s scary. And exciting. It’s scary because that’s like 26 going on 30!!! It’s exciting because guess what... The older you get, the more YOU, you get. And I can’t think of anything more exciting than discovering more of yourself as the years go by. You’re full of surprises, Marta. Don’t ever underestimate yourself.
And don’t ever sleep on yourself either. This is the year of savage, bitch. No more excuses. And when I say no more excuses... I really mean it this time. You didn’t come this far just to get this far. You know your purpose. You know your destiny. You know it! This is the year when you stop pretending. This is the year of no apology. This is the year of getting what you want, need and deserve. You are no longer interested in accepting anything less. And anyone or anything that offers anything less will be considered an insult to your divinity. *COUGH*Thank u, next.*COUGH*
This is the year of PUT SOME RESPECK ON MY NAME! ALL TREE OF Y’ALL. And by ALL TREE OF Y’ALL, I mean:
1. YOU. You are going to finally put all of the RESPECK ON IT. It starts with you and only you and you know it. You are the first example of what it means to love you. That’s a very important responsibility you have. And you are going to respond to this ability at all times of the day, night and entire year. You are not going to wait on anybody or anything to give you the sense of worth, power and acceptance that you crave. All of that is within you. And it’s your job to bring it out. Continue to fall in love with taking care of your mind, body and spirit and putting yourself first no matter what. Remember, you don’t wait for nobody to do that for you!
2. The people in your life. It’s time to set your relationships straight. That means take inventory of who’s around you. You are the CEO of your life. What roles and positions are the people around you filling in your life? Are they doing a good job? Are they fueling your fire? Are they stitching feathers in your wings or are they clipping them? Do you need to set up a meeting to discuss needs, expectations and boundaries? Do some people need to be promoted, demoted or fired? These are all questions you must consider and take answering them very seriously. It might seem heartless but this is your life. And this is their life too. In any relationship - ask yourself, what is the benefit being exchanged here? It has to go both ways. Relationships are a two way street. You must bring to the table the same things you want and need from others. So find out what the people around you need and want. Make sure the exchange is equal. Don’t just assume. Have those tough conversations. Give feedback. And ask for it back. The goal here is that your relationships are strong, radiant, loving, healthy and full of life. Remember, you need strong relationships to thrive. But first, sit down with yourself and figure out what you want and need. You have to be honest with yourself before you can be honest with others. When you know what you need and want, you’ll be able to figure out who is ready, willing and able to fulfill those things. And you will also have the strength to set boundaries and let go of whoever is not ready, willing and able fulfill those things - without taking it personally. Remember, everyone is on their own separate journeys. It’s nobody’s job to make you happy. That’s your job first. The people around you can be your ‘happiness assistants’ but you’re the one who has to do the heavy lifting. Make sure things are clear.
3. Your career and everything related to how you make schmoney and give value to the world. Okrrr? This has been a long time coming. You know how smart you are and how resourceful you are. You know how much creativity you got in you. You’re like a Coca-Cola bottle that has been shaken up with Mentos inside for the past 26 years! You’re bursting at the seams with all these things you wanna share with the world. It’s time. You can’t hold it in anymore. It’s gotta come out. Or else your soul will literally turn in on itself. You will not survive unless you bet on you and all of you. You were put on this Earth to cultivate and share your gifts, not hide them. You’re going to have to put yourself in very uncomfortable situations in order to do that. There is no other way. Stop letting discomfort get in your way. You’re ready. You were born ready. You’ve got this. The seat is waiting for you at the table. You’ve just got to get yourself to the tables you belong at and sit your ass down!
So now let’s get real, real quick...
Marta, this year has been the most painful year of your life. You’ve never felt more pain in your entire life. You actually didn’t think it was possible to feel so much pain. And you definitely didn’t think you were strong enough to get through it. You cried yourself to sleep more times than you can remember or want to admit. This pain was crippling. You crawled and wept through it at times. You fell to the floor and held yourself in fetal position for hours to get through the worst of it. You cried until nothing else mattered except taking another breath. Your breath became your savior.
And the worst part about it was that you felt so alone. You were so alone. No one really knew or could understand what you were going through. And even if they did, there was not much they could do. You came to the conclusion that no one will ever really know or understand. And you didn’t need them to anyway. You had only you. And that was terrifying. At times it felt like you were falling into a dark abyss of nothingness. And it seemed like nothing mattered, especially you. You cursed God and told the Universe to fuck off and leave you alone. You said there was no point to any of this and you thought life is just cruel. Heights scared you because jumping started to seem more comforting than the unknown you were facing. You didn’t want to do it anymore. You didn’t want to try anymore. You lost your faith and your vision.
You fell. You fell so hard and the only person there to catch you was you, every time. But every time, the light of the sun awakened you to a new day. And you got up. You kept going. This pain has helped you cultivate a kind of faith you’ve never had. You lost everything, but you found so much. You learned that nothing could break you. And even if it does, it breaks you open.
I know you were ashamed of this pain. I know you were afraid to tell people how much you were hurting. I know you isolated yourself to get through it. I know this was your war. I know you fought alone. I commend you for that courage and I am proud of you for pushing through even when pushing through meant surrender. You are invincible. And I think you’ve finally proven that to yourself.
Unknowingly, the most painful experiences in your life have taught you the most. You learned that even in your darkest moments, you matter. You remember looking at the stars with tears in your eyes one night and they told you that you mattered. That was the moment you started to believe again. You had lost your faith in magic and now magic was calling your name again.
You are more sure of yourself than ever. You are now extremely connected to a deep force of nature within you.
You are a force of nature.
You are incredible.
You are unbelievable.
You are a dream come true.
You’ve learned this year that you really never know what anyone is going through. Because you were able to smile while you were dying on the inside. And now you know, a smile can mean a lot of things.
The perspective this year has given you has been priceless. You realized that you mastered the art of hating yourself. And you understand now on a deep level why and how this happened. Now your mission is to master the art of loving yourself. And you’ve gotten a great start so far…
You quit your 9-5 and started your own business! You started the Boss Ass Bitch podcast and have had your dream guests on the first season! You’ve continued to write and share your thoughts and passion with the world! You got your dream car!!! You became a morning person (#4amWakeUpChallenge)! You’ve met incredible people you’ve looked up to for so long! You’ve continued to read and educate yourself on topics that are extremely important to you!
Despite the lowest of the lows this year, there have been incredible highs as well.
But I need you to turn it up. Remember, it’s the year of savage. No apologies. No excuses.
I need you to remember this year. As much as I know you want to forget it, I need you to remember it because you encountered something extremely profound...
You found your power. You’ve tasted it for the very first time.
And now, you’re hungry. You’re thirsty. You’re like a shark in blood water. You’re going for the kill.
That’s the thing about power... Once you taste it, there’s no going back. Especially the true, authentic power that I’m talking about - that is your birthright.
You’re unstoppable now.
You’ve got the whole world at your fingertips.
You’re home now. And it feels so good.
Now that you’re here, you understand why you’ve felt homesick your entire life. There was something missing. That something missing was your sense of self. You were missing YOU. You were disoriented by the opinions and expectations of others. You did and said everything to please everyone else but yourself. And you were so caught up that you didn’t even realize it. It was in your blood to please the world and to hate yourself. That pattern is in your DNA.
You had to go through the pain to see that. Now that you are so in tune though... you see the detours you used to fall for so easily. You see the speed bumps on the road and you use them to propel you further and faster. No more slowing down. No more stopping. No more wrong turns. No more hitchhikers. No more flat tires. No more. No one and nothing can get in your way now. You’ve got a strong GPS system. You know your destination and you know how to get there.
Your intuition is your God.
Your pussy knows the way.
I believe in you.
I got you.
I love you.
PS. 2017 was lemons. 2018 was lemonade. 2019 is the lemonade stand. 😜🍋✨